Countdown..and fears

34 days until I get my lap band surgery. I am so excited/nervous/anxious. I'm excited because I am ready to live a healthy life. I'm nervous because of possible complications that could arise, plus money because I am a self-pay patient. And I'm anxious to get it over with!

Right now, I am relishing in my lasts... last dinner at Olive Garden, last drink of Diet Coke, etc. While I am kind of sad about giving up certain foods, I have spent too much of my life in an unhealthy relationship with them. February, here I come!!

If I can be completely honest, one thing I am really scared about is my plane seat. Airlines are becoming increasingly stringent on making obese people buy extra seats. Not only would that be so embarrassing for me, I would like to avoid spending the extra money if possible. I DO NOT want to infringe on another passenger's right to space, but if there is an empty seat, I will be glad to sit next to it. Now, I've done a ton of research on airplane companies and found American and Southwest to be the most "fat-friendly". Even though Southwest's seats are smaller, I went with them because if they deem you to be too large, they require you to purchase an extra ticket BUT will refund it if the whole plane doesn't sell out. That seemed like the best policy of all the airlines. I'm sure I will have to ask for a belt extender because I carry a lot of weight around the middle. But I hope to be able to fit my arse into the 17" seats. My cousin said she was 330 and had no trouble on Southwest, but everyone carries their weight differently. I'm hoping to not have to purchase a second seat, but if I don't fit into just one then I understand the airline's policy. I will just have to budget for it "just in case". My husband will also be going with me, so at least I have him.

Touching on another fear, I am really scared about AFTER lap band surgery. I do not have insurance, and that's why I am self-paying. What if something goes wrong like my cousin who had to get her gallbladder removed? What if my band slips? And then I start questioning if the lap band is even a real long-term solution and should it really stay inside me forever and all that.

I really have to give up my fears to God, but it would be nice to hear from some people who share my fears or have conquered them already.