Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Hello 212. Nice to meet you. :)

Hey all.. not really sure what to post lately. I've been losing, so that's good! This week has been a slow losing week, though. Lots of stress which includes car breaking down, money, etc. But God is faithful and taking care of us. I am on my way to my mid-November goal of 200. Not sure if I'll make it because I'd need to lose 2 lbs a week for 6 weeks (or .3 lbs a day). I just wanna be down for this wedding I'm attending and so I can maybe buy a cute outfit!

For those of you wondering about the cosmetology thing, I am still looking into it! I'm waiting to hear back from financial aid and praying constantly about God's will for my life. If you pray, I also ask you to keep us in your prayers.

So yes... I'm loving life right now. I especially like watching the scale creep down. WOOT. lol.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Becoming Me

As I shed this weight, I find myself naturally becoming more confident but not just in ways that are the most obvious. I find I am having more confidence to STEP OUT & try new things. Like what?

Firstly, I am going to tour a couple of cosmetology schools this week. I don't want to get my hopes up in case I can't get financial aid to attend... but long story short, I'd love to be a cosmetologist and eventually have my own clients or chair in a high-end salon. Currently I am a history student seeking my BA in American Studies through online classes, but I crave a job/career where I can interact with people and that is more relational. Plus, I want more of an opportunity to be a disciple. And if I am just at home on my computer and become an online college instructor (like I planned), I can't reach the people I want to. So why not become a stylist? Us women tell our hairdressers everything. I love to hear people's stories, so I think it's something I'd really enjoy. I also love designing and creating! I used to think I'd be a graphic designer. Looking into cosmo school is DEFINITELY not something I'd have done at 280 lbs. But right now at 213.6, I am feeling pretty damn good. I'm excited about the possibility of this new path in my life. It will be hard, but I am not making any rash decisions until I have visited the schools and am sure it is the right move for myself AND my family.

Secondly, I have more confidence being naked. Sorry if this is TMI folks. Even though I may never love what I see when I'm naked, I don't hate it so much anymore. And also, sex is a lot more fun with the lights on. JUST SAYIN. I have to be honest about my journey!

Also, the size 22 capris I bought from Lane Bryant this summer are practically falling off of me. And I bought a size 18 at Lane Bryant when I was shopping for black dress pants last week. WORD! I love to see that scale move in the right direction. Unfortunately, I don't have a fill scheduled until late October, but I'll keep making the best of it.

Now we are planning our trip to Illinois for some good friends of ours' wedding in November. Can't wait!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Up a little.

Well I am up a little from my all-time low of 216.4. I think this morning I was 217.6. That's actually pretty good considering I ate like crap yesterday, had drinks at a show, and then went out for a midnight snack of cheese fries after the concert. I have also eaten like crap today. I woke up and had a Fiber One bar, but lunch was crazy. I had a leftover kid's size alfredo from Olive Garden. When I looked it up, it was 800 calories! Can you believe that? 800 calories for a kid's meal??! No wonder childhood obseity is a freaking epidemic. So that pretty much ruined my day. I refuse to starve myself, so I know I'll be going over my caloric intake at dinner. I try to stay at or near 1200 for now. Until I get better restriction, counting works okay. I don't love it, but if I don't do it, I won't lose.

I am definitely gonna call and schedule a fill ASAP. My stepmom's mom came into town the other day. I hadn't seen her in nearly five years, but it was great to catch up with her. She's the only person I know (besides a cousin) that has had lap-band. It was neat to be able to talk about band issues like foods we can tolerate vs. foods we can't, how much we're able to eat, etc. For dinner, she only had one slice of thin crust pizza from Domino's. She said she can usually heat half a normal sized sandwich for a meal and be full. Wow! She hasn't had a fill for months, but she also can't tolerate a wide variety of foods. So I'm at a crossroads: get a fill, get more restriction, and possibly narrow my food choices even further OR don't get a fill and keep counting calories. I think a fill is worth a try, though. I am freaked out at being too tight because sometimes I ocassionally push the limits on what I eat now (like pasta or crispy bread). We shall see!

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