Pregnancy Update

Hey y'all.. just wanted to check in and let you know how the pregnancy is going. I am 26.5 weeks along now. I started at 210 and am now around 231-232. My doctor took all my fluid out at around 6-8 weeks, so I can definitely eat more than I ever could with the band before. Also I can eat bread with no problem. That's scary! I've been trying to eat relatively healthy, but I also don't deprive myself. If I am hungry, I eat! And when I'm pregnant, I am hungry ALL the time. Lol. I try to do healthy snacks but I won't lie, I have a cookie or a cupcake sometimes. It will be a rude awakening when I start getting my fluid put back in because I have taken advantage of being able to eat bread like on thick crust pizza or a sandwich. But I am ready for July--my due date! Then I will be able to start back on this journey again. ;) Also, my port is sticking out way more than ever. My husband accidentally grazed it the other day with his hand and was a little freaked out. Lol. It's so prominent to me. As I gain weight with this pergnancy, I've been trying to keep in mind that it is all for the baby. When I start to struggle and have a day where I feel fat, I remind myself that this is a journey and that I actually weigh less now than I did with my first pregnancy! Just because I am gaining baby weight doesn't mean I am going backwards... it means I am just pressing pause. Having a baby is SO worth pressing pause. I love and miss you guys. :)

The reason I haven't been around lately is because..

I'm pregnant! Yay! We are due July 20th. This will be baby #2 for us. I am at thirteen weeks right now and weighing in at roughly 213-214 lbs on any given day. I will not be changing my ticker to reflect pregnancy weight gain.

Honestly, this wasn't planned by us, but it wasn't prevented either. So we are absolutely thrilled. :) My doc recommended a complete unfill, so we did that two weeks ago. I think I have gained maybe half a pound since then. I am always hungry and tired.. but that's ok. I am a little worried I will gain "too much" weight and I struggled at first with a little bit of guilt for thinking "Omg, what will this do to my body?" But it doesn't matter. Nothing will erase the progress I've made-- I'll get back on track in August. Such a blessing. So yeah. How are YOU guys??

Hello 212. Nice to meet you. :)

Hey all.. not really sure what to post lately. I've been losing, so that's good! This week has been a slow losing week, though. Lots of stress which includes car breaking down, money, etc. But God is faithful and taking care of us. I am on my way to my mid-November goal of 200. Not sure if I'll make it because I'd need to lose 2 lbs a week for 6 weeks (or .3 lbs a day). I just wanna be down for this wedding I'm attending and so I can maybe buy a cute outfit!

For those of you wondering about the cosmetology thing, I am still looking into it! I'm waiting to hear back from financial aid and praying constantly about God's will for my life. If you pray, I also ask you to keep us in your prayers.

So yes... I'm loving life right now. I especially like watching the scale creep down. WOOT. lol.

Becoming Me

As I shed this weight, I find myself naturally becoming more confident but not just in ways that are the most obvious. I find I am having more confidence to STEP OUT & try new things. Like what?

Firstly, I am going to tour a couple of cosmetology schools this week. I don't want to get my hopes up in case I can't get financial aid to attend... but long story short, I'd love to be a cosmetologist and eventually have my own clients or chair in a high-end salon. Currently I am a history student seeking my BA in American Studies through online classes, but I crave a job/career where I can interact with people and that is more relational. Plus, I want more of an opportunity to be a disciple. And if I am just at home on my computer and become an online college instructor (like I planned), I can't reach the people I want to. So why not become a stylist? Us women tell our hairdressers everything. I love to hear people's stories, so I think it's something I'd really enjoy. I also love designing and creating! I used to think I'd be a graphic designer. Looking into cosmo school is DEFINITELY not something I'd have done at 280 lbs. But right now at 213.6, I am feeling pretty damn good. I'm excited about the possibility of this new path in my life. It will be hard, but I am not making any rash decisions until I have visited the schools and am sure it is the right move for myself AND my family.

Secondly, I have more confidence being naked. Sorry if this is TMI folks. Even though I may never love what I see when I'm naked, I don't hate it so much anymore. And also, sex is a lot more fun with the lights on. JUST SAYIN. I have to be honest about my journey!

Also, the size 22 capris I bought from Lane Bryant this summer are practically falling off of me. And I bought a size 18 at Lane Bryant when I was shopping for black dress pants last week. WORD! I love to see that scale move in the right direction. Unfortunately, I don't have a fill scheduled until late October, but I'll keep making the best of it.

Now we are planning our trip to Illinois for some good friends of ours' wedding in November. Can't wait!

Up a little.

Well I am up a little from my all-time low of 216.4. I think this morning I was 217.6. That's actually pretty good considering I ate like crap yesterday, had drinks at a show, and then went out for a midnight snack of cheese fries after the concert. I have also eaten like crap today. I woke up and had a Fiber One bar, but lunch was crazy. I had a leftover kid's size alfredo from Olive Garden. When I looked it up, it was 800 calories! Can you believe that? 800 calories for a kid's meal??! No wonder childhood obseity is a freaking epidemic. So that pretty much ruined my day. I refuse to starve myself, so I know I'll be going over my caloric intake at dinner. I try to stay at or near 1200 for now. Until I get better restriction, counting works okay. I don't love it, but if I don't do it, I won't lose.

I am definitely gonna call and schedule a fill ASAP. My stepmom's mom came into town the other day. I hadn't seen her in nearly five years, but it was great to catch up with her. She's the only person I know (besides a cousin) that has had lap-band. It was neat to be able to talk about band issues like foods we can tolerate vs. foods we can't, how much we're able to eat, etc. For dinner, she only had one slice of thin crust pizza from Domino's. She said she can usually heat half a normal sized sandwich for a meal and be full. Wow! She hasn't had a fill for months, but she also can't tolerate a wide variety of foods. So I'm at a crossroads: get a fill, get more restriction, and possibly narrow my food choices even further OR don't get a fill and keep counting calories. I think a fill is worth a try, though. I am freaked out at being too tight because sometimes I ocassionally push the limits on what I eat now (like pasta or crispy bread). We shall see!

Definitely time for a fill.

I got a letter from my fill doctor's office (I won't call him my surgeon since I had my surgery in MX) that said my appointment for the end of September had been cancelled because he's going to be out of the office. Kind of a good thing, though, because I need to try and move it up if I can.

I don't feel like I have any restriction until dinnertime. Is that weird or what? I am starving ALL DAY. But when it comes to dinner, I can eat a small portion and be full. But the rest of the day, I am constantly thinking about food. Like at 9:30ish this morning I had a Greek yogurt and a Fiber One bar... and I'm still hungry. Last week I had one cup of grapes for a snack in between meals. I was still hungry so I got another cup of grapes. And I was still hungry after that. Granted, grapes are mostly water, but still. And I am counting calories like it's nobody's business.

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times.... but seriously, I don't dig the calorie counting. Yes, it's good educationally to teach me what I'm putting into my body, but no, it's not something I want to do forever. The band is supposed to restrict my food intake so I don't always have to be counting--only making sure I get the right things in. Right? Isn't that the point of the band? So first thing Monday morning, I am making an appointment. I have a fear of being too tight and it leading to a slip. Everyone's heard horror stories. I'm especially fearful since I got my banding done out of the country and without insurance. We have insurance now (thank the Lord), but I don't want to think about the mess I'd be in physically and financially if something happened. I don't want to be too aggressive with fills, and I think my surgeon is naturally a little apprehensive about overdoing it since he didn't perform my surgery. But I'm sure I need one. I am praying for the best.

In other news, I freaking lost ten pounds this month. I'll take it! On my way to November's goal!

NSVs for the win!!

Two things.

1) Today I weighed in on the scale at 220.4. Why is this so significant for me? Because 220 is the weight I first started Weight Watchers at in my sophomore year of high school. I remember that my dad took me to the doctor because I was sick, and I weighed in at 215. My dad looked at me pointedly and said, "We need to do something about that." A few months later, my stepmom supportively joined Weight Watchers with me, and by then, I was weighing 220. I got down to 190 that time on WW within a couple of months. So when I break up my journey from starting at 280, 220 is a significant milestone. Now here's to 60 more lbs! I will surpass 190 this time and leave its ass in the wind.

2) I am finally able to get my wedding ring on comfortably! In the middle of my pregnancy (somewhere around the end of '08), I had to take off my rings due to swelling. Ever since I had my daughter, it has been such a tight fit that my finger would ache, so I took them off for a bit. After two years, I am finally able to wear my wedding ring again! I can also fit my engagement ring on, but it's a little tight. Perhaps in ten more pounds? Excited!!

Today I LOVE my lap band. Thank God for medical technology and gifted surgeons!