Pregnancy Update

Hey y'all.. just wanted to check in and let you know how the pregnancy is going. I am 26.5 weeks along now. I started at 210 and am now around 231-232. My doctor took all my fluid out at around 6-8 weeks, so I can definitely eat more than I ever could with the band before. Also I can eat bread with no problem. That's scary! I've been trying to eat relatively healthy, but I also don't deprive myself. If I am hungry, I eat! And when I'm pregnant, I am hungry ALL the time. Lol. I try to do healthy snacks but I won't lie, I have a cookie or a cupcake sometimes. It will be a rude awakening when I start getting my fluid put back in because I have taken advantage of being able to eat bread like on thick crust pizza or a sandwich. But I am ready for July--my due date! Then I will be able to start back on this journey again. ;) Also, my port is sticking out way more than ever. My husband accidentally grazed it the other day with his hand and was a little freaked out. Lol. It's so prominent to me. As I gain weight with this pergnancy, I've been trying to keep in mind that it is all for the baby. When I start to struggle and have a day where I feel fat, I remind myself that this is a journey and that I actually weigh less now than I did with my first pregnancy! Just because I am gaining baby weight doesn't mean I am going backwards... it means I am just pressing pause. Having a baby is SO worth pressing pause. I love and miss you guys. :)

The reason I haven't been around lately is because..

I'm pregnant! Yay! We are due July 20th. This will be baby #2 for us. I am at thirteen weeks right now and weighing in at roughly 213-214 lbs on any given day. I will not be changing my ticker to reflect pregnancy weight gain.

Honestly, this wasn't planned by us, but it wasn't prevented either. So we are absolutely thrilled. :) My doc recommended a complete unfill, so we did that two weeks ago. I think I have gained maybe half a pound since then. I am always hungry and tired.. but that's ok. I am a little worried I will gain "too much" weight and I struggled at first with a little bit of guilt for thinking "Omg, what will this do to my body?" But it doesn't matter. Nothing will erase the progress I've made-- I'll get back on track in August. Such a blessing. So yeah. How are YOU guys??

Hello 212. Nice to meet you. :)

Hey all.. not really sure what to post lately. I've been losing, so that's good! This week has been a slow losing week, though. Lots of stress which includes car breaking down, money, etc. But God is faithful and taking care of us. I am on my way to my mid-November goal of 200. Not sure if I'll make it because I'd need to lose 2 lbs a week for 6 weeks (or .3 lbs a day). I just wanna be down for this wedding I'm attending and so I can maybe buy a cute outfit!

For those of you wondering about the cosmetology thing, I am still looking into it! I'm waiting to hear back from financial aid and praying constantly about God's will for my life. If you pray, I also ask you to keep us in your prayers.

So yes... I'm loving life right now. I especially like watching the scale creep down. WOOT. lol.

Becoming Me

As I shed this weight, I find myself naturally becoming more confident but not just in ways that are the most obvious. I find I am having more confidence to STEP OUT & try new things. Like what?

Firstly, I am going to tour a couple of cosmetology schools this week. I don't want to get my hopes up in case I can't get financial aid to attend... but long story short, I'd love to be a cosmetologist and eventually have my own clients or chair in a high-end salon. Currently I am a history student seeking my BA in American Studies through online classes, but I crave a job/career where I can interact with people and that is more relational. Plus, I want more of an opportunity to be a disciple. And if I am just at home on my computer and become an online college instructor (like I planned), I can't reach the people I want to. So why not become a stylist? Us women tell our hairdressers everything. I love to hear people's stories, so I think it's something I'd really enjoy. I also love designing and creating! I used to think I'd be a graphic designer. Looking into cosmo school is DEFINITELY not something I'd have done at 280 lbs. But right now at 213.6, I am feeling pretty damn good. I'm excited about the possibility of this new path in my life. It will be hard, but I am not making any rash decisions until I have visited the schools and am sure it is the right move for myself AND my family.

Secondly, I have more confidence being naked. Sorry if this is TMI folks. Even though I may never love what I see when I'm naked, I don't hate it so much anymore. And also, sex is a lot more fun with the lights on. JUST SAYIN. I have to be honest about my journey!

Also, the size 22 capris I bought from Lane Bryant this summer are practically falling off of me. And I bought a size 18 at Lane Bryant when I was shopping for black dress pants last week. WORD! I love to see that scale move in the right direction. Unfortunately, I don't have a fill scheduled until late October, but I'll keep making the best of it.

Now we are planning our trip to Illinois for some good friends of ours' wedding in November. Can't wait!

Up a little.

Well I am up a little from my all-time low of 216.4. I think this morning I was 217.6. That's actually pretty good considering I ate like crap yesterday, had drinks at a show, and then went out for a midnight snack of cheese fries after the concert. I have also eaten like crap today. I woke up and had a Fiber One bar, but lunch was crazy. I had a leftover kid's size alfredo from Olive Garden. When I looked it up, it was 800 calories! Can you believe that? 800 calories for a kid's meal??! No wonder childhood obseity is a freaking epidemic. So that pretty much ruined my day. I refuse to starve myself, so I know I'll be going over my caloric intake at dinner. I try to stay at or near 1200 for now. Until I get better restriction, counting works okay. I don't love it, but if I don't do it, I won't lose.

I am definitely gonna call and schedule a fill ASAP. My stepmom's mom came into town the other day. I hadn't seen her in nearly five years, but it was great to catch up with her. She's the only person I know (besides a cousin) that has had lap-band. It was neat to be able to talk about band issues like foods we can tolerate vs. foods we can't, how much we're able to eat, etc. For dinner, she only had one slice of thin crust pizza from Domino's. She said she can usually heat half a normal sized sandwich for a meal and be full. Wow! She hasn't had a fill for months, but she also can't tolerate a wide variety of foods. So I'm at a crossroads: get a fill, get more restriction, and possibly narrow my food choices even further OR don't get a fill and keep counting calories. I think a fill is worth a try, though. I am freaked out at being too tight because sometimes I ocassionally push the limits on what I eat now (like pasta or crispy bread). We shall see!

Definitely time for a fill.

I got a letter from my fill doctor's office (I won't call him my surgeon since I had my surgery in MX) that said my appointment for the end of September had been cancelled because he's going to be out of the office. Kind of a good thing, though, because I need to try and move it up if I can.

I don't feel like I have any restriction until dinnertime. Is that weird or what? I am starving ALL DAY. But when it comes to dinner, I can eat a small portion and be full. But the rest of the day, I am constantly thinking about food. Like at 9:30ish this morning I had a Greek yogurt and a Fiber One bar... and I'm still hungry. Last week I had one cup of grapes for a snack in between meals. I was still hungry so I got another cup of grapes. And I was still hungry after that. Granted, grapes are mostly water, but still. And I am counting calories like it's nobody's business.

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times.... but seriously, I don't dig the calorie counting. Yes, it's good educationally to teach me what I'm putting into my body, but no, it's not something I want to do forever. The band is supposed to restrict my food intake so I don't always have to be counting--only making sure I get the right things in. Right? Isn't that the point of the band? So first thing Monday morning, I am making an appointment. I have a fear of being too tight and it leading to a slip. Everyone's heard horror stories. I'm especially fearful since I got my banding done out of the country and without insurance. We have insurance now (thank the Lord), but I don't want to think about the mess I'd be in physically and financially if something happened. I don't want to be too aggressive with fills, and I think my surgeon is naturally a little apprehensive about overdoing it since he didn't perform my surgery. But I'm sure I need one. I am praying for the best.

In other news, I freaking lost ten pounds this month. I'll take it! On my way to November's goal!

NSVs for the win!!

Two things.

1) Today I weighed in on the scale at 220.4. Why is this so significant for me? Because 220 is the weight I first started Weight Watchers at in my sophomore year of high school. I remember that my dad took me to the doctor because I was sick, and I weighed in at 215. My dad looked at me pointedly and said, "We need to do something about that." A few months later, my stepmom supportively joined Weight Watchers with me, and by then, I was weighing 220. I got down to 190 that time on WW within a couple of months. So when I break up my journey from starting at 280, 220 is a significant milestone. Now here's to 60 more lbs! I will surpass 190 this time and leave its ass in the wind.

2) I am finally able to get my wedding ring on comfortably! In the middle of my pregnancy (somewhere around the end of '08), I had to take off my rings due to swelling. Ever since I had my daughter, it has been such a tight fit that my finger would ache, so I took them off for a bit. After two years, I am finally able to wear my wedding ring again! I can also fit my engagement ring on, but it's a little tight. Perhaps in ten more pounds? Excited!!

Today I LOVE my lap band. Thank God for medical technology and gifted surgeons!

Recovery from the Weekend

It always seems like the weekends are one big giant test to see how well we can really stick with our new lifestyles. If you're like me, you try to convince yourself that Saturday and Sunday don't count in the grander scheme of infinity, but you know better.

Saturday was nuts. I had a movie night with the sister-in-law and brother-in-law's girlfriend. I ate a whole bag of peanut M&Ms, a hard taco from Taco Bell, and a pintos & cheese. Not all at once, mind you.. it was spaced out. But still. So imagine my surprise when I hop on the scale to see it down. Ha. Yesterday wasn't so bad. I did go to a breakfast buffet (the first buffet I think I've been to since being banded) and stuck with mostly eggs and bacon, lots of protein. I had a Fiber One bar around 3pm and some grapes and cheese for a late dinner. I was still down this morning, so I guess that's a good thing. I am now back on the wagon. ;)

It seems like a lot of us had rough weekends. My husband's days off will now be broken up throughout the week, so it's gonna be challenging not to just pig out when he's off. He always eats and doesn't gain weight. If he does, he loses it without even trying! The great thing is he is super supportive of me and my band. If I screw up, he doesn't hound me but instead says, "oh well". If I'm debating having one more cookie than I need, he'll say "Honey, you might regret that later". He never does it to the point of being annoying. I do indulge myself (just remembered last night I had a cookie). But if I start to do it to a point where I lose control, he's always there for me to point it out. I love him for it. He is my whole support system. I couldn't do this without him.

I need to exercise. I have lost all my weight thus far without exercising, but I know it's time to get my tail in gear.

Definition of Success

There's a lot of talk in Bloggerland lately about whether or not the band is the right choice or if it's the easy way or weak person's way out. Some have even gone so far as to say that a very small percentage of us will succeed. My question is then: what is your definition of success?

My definition of success is: changing my relationship with food to a healthy one, attaining a healthy weight, and being happy with myself when I look in the mirror. My definition of success is NOT: calorie counting the rest of my life and sticking to a strict meal plan. So when all is said and done: if I can maintain 160 lbs and be happy with myself OR I can follow a calorie plan and be hungry all the time and be 150 lbs, guess which one I'm gonna choose? 160 lbs. Why? Because it's more than a number. It's about being healthy AND satisfied. I'd rather be a little more plump and happy than a little smaller and a total drag.

So if only 2% of us are destined to lose all of our excess weight, who the hell cares? Even if the band stopped working now (and keep in mind I still have another 60-70 lbs to lose), I'd say all the time and expense and effort was worth it. It is worth it because it was the catalyst as Amy says. It is the thing that helped me re-evaluate what I was putting into my body and how I was treating my body. And if it took $7,000 out of pocket to have this realization, it was worth every damn penny.

Ideally I want to lose 100% of my excess weight, but I won't count myself a failure if I don't. I already see myself (and a lot of other fellow bandsters) as successes because we are learning to change our habits and ways of thinking long term. To me, THAT is what matters. If this doesn't produce the ideal results, we'll still be successes. Whichever path we take to get to a healthy weight doesn't really matter, as long as we're not struggling with eating disorders. For some of us, it took the band to push us to the point of change. For others, it was just a matter of willpower. Good for them!

So that's my definition of success. And anyone who calls me a failure can just beat it. ;)

Am I working the band?

I have no idea if I am working the band like it's supposed to work. Lately I've been counting calories. I promised myself I would never do this!! But I told myself, "hey, it will get you into the habit of at least knowing what is healthy and what isn't and you can re-teach yourself to eat again." But I find the idea of a food journal completely BLECH. And counting calories to reach 1200?? WTF? I don't wanna be on Weight Watchers my whole life! So this leaves me here: do I need a fill? I've never wondered if I needed a fill or not before because at the slow pace my surgeon is filling me, I always do. But after my last fill, I actually started to PB regularly on things I knew were bad for my band (steak, reheated meat, skin on vegetables). Even though I feel more restricted, I still feel like I can 1) eat too much before I get full and 2) get too hungry in between meals. My surgeon always asks how many bites I can eat before I get full. I never counted, but I'm thinking it's roughly 15-20. I don't know how many is normal. But I feel like I'm relying too much on my own calorie counting to lose this weight. Is that possible? I mean, I know I need to be accountable for what I eat, but it just feels like another Weight Watchers diet right now. Any advice? I don't have an appointment with him until the end of September, and I'm not sure he wants to see me back any sooner. Lol.

On the weight front, I am hovering between 226-227. I do pretty well eating until evening time. My husband doesn't get home from work until 8pm, so if I wait to eat dinner with him, I always see a gain on the scale the next morning. I think I'm gonna have to start eating earlier and just reheat his dinner for him when he gets home. That is hard, though, because dinner is such a "social" time for us. We love sharing mealtime together.

Maybe I will keep a food diary just to stay accountable and see if anyone else thinks I need a fill from eating too much or too often.

Also, if you are following my blog and I'm not following yours, please leave me a link! It's hard to find everyone's blogs, and I want to follow everyone's journey, so if I haven't added yours, it's not personal! Just leave a link in the comments, and I will! :)

Why did we choose the band?

I was having major doubts about my choice of getting the lap band. I have had no complications (thank God), and I feel good about my rate of loss. If I continue at this rate, I will be a very happy woman. However, I googled "lap band vs. sleeve" to see what people were saying, and it seems like every post or result just wrote off the band and promoted getting the sleeve. What's up with that?

Sleeve-sters said things like "well, this is permanent and I needed to know that in my head." Well, as far as I'm concerned, I am living my life like my lap band is permanent, too. I don't see what that has to do with anything. I just kind of wanted to go for a simpler option before I cut out part of my stomach, ya know? And then they say when they gain weight, they have no options but to lose it the old-fashioned way. My response to that is, "what the hell--the old fashioned way didn't work for us before, how will it work for us then?" I'm not criticizing anyone's decision to have bypass or the sleeve, but for me personally, it wasn't the right choice. I am young and have a lot of years ahead of me. I wanted to know that in the small chance that I had complications or that I didn't lose the weight I needed to that there were indeed other options down the road. I also wanted to know I wasn't taking drastic measures, and for me, the sleeve or bypass would have been drastic. I wanted lower rates of complication. I didn't want to worry about malnutrition. I plan to get pregnant a few more times and don't want to worry about my baby getting enough nutrition. Lastly, I am okay with the slower rate of loss with the band versus the faster rate of loss with bypass or the sleeve. It's a known fact that the slower you lose it, the longer you keep it off anyway. At least that's one of those things everyone tells you. And honestly, I didn't want to lose it all in six months. I fear that if I did, the people around me would freak out a little and suspect a lot. And I'm not okay with telling everyone I had surgery. I also don't understand the "I don't want a foreign object in my body" argument. What about people with pacemakers? How is it any different? Or the nuva-ring birth control that you keep in your va-jay-jay? Or the braces on your teeth when you were a teenager? A foreign object isn't always bad. Sometimes it even saves lives.

So the fills, while not ideal, are okay. The ocassional sliming/PB is fine. Whatever. As long as my band doesn't slip/erode or stop functioning then this band thing is for me. I hope I never have to take more drastic measures in the future, but I leave this option open. For now, the band is working and I am working it! It is my friend. I like having the option of eating a piece of cake for my birthday party without worrying about hurling. I like having options. To me, the lap band is more about behavioral modification than restriction. I don't want to have a list of things I can and cannot eat; I just want to change the amount.

So what about you? Why did you choose the WLS that you did?

The Fat Bubble

Do you ever find that you're living your life in a fat bubble? What I mean by that is: do you ever find yourself declining invitations or putting off certain life changes and justifying them to yourself by saying, "Oh, I'll get to it when I'm skinny"? Because I do. And I can't be the only one.

For example, my husband has some friends from high school he really wants me to meet. We've been able to put it off since we live two hours away.. that and we're both really anitsocial. BUT I'd really love to meet them. However, I haven't pushed him on it because I think, "Oh, I don't want them to see me like this and think of me as fat because I won't be like this much longer." Is that silly?

Does anyone else feel like this? Are we justified in thinking this way?

THAT Time of the month

What is it about my time of the month and binge eating that go hand in hand? Well, I haven't been too bad lately except...I recently discovered Nutella. Now how in the hell I have lived 23 years without ever trying this stuff is beyond me, but it is AMAZING. I only have half the 13oz jar left. Holy crap, right? Right.

My weight has been fluctuating due to water weight I suppose.. I was at 229 this morning, but we'll see about tomorrow. I definitely expect to see the effects of all the Nutella on the scale soon. Lol. I think this is true for most, but every time I hit a new low, I bounce around for a week or so and struggle to hit it again.

My family is going to Illinois for a wedding in November. I'd like to be at 200 by then. Do you think that's feasible? That's 8-9 lbs a month for three months. We'll see! If I am at 200 by then, I'll look better than when they last saw me! Lol. I probably left there at about the weight I am now, 230-ish.

Well, lots of things going on in my personal life. Feel free to follow me on Twitter if you want to get to know me better and see what I'm up to. :)

220's

Why hello 220's, it sure is nice to meet you! Especially after baking cupcakes with homemade buttercream icing yesterday!

WOOT. So I just realized I have lost an (overall) amount of 51 freaking pounds since January. I'll take it! I can see the light!! Haha. My ultimate low goal is 140, but I will settle for 150 or 160? I don't know. I guess I'll just know when I get there. But I remember when I met my husband, I was in my 170's, so I can't wait to get back there and be one rockin' hot mama. ;)

Here's to hoping those cupcakes don't show up on tomorrow's scale..

Food addiction=one of the sins in my life.

I realize this post is going to come across as really extreme to some people, even Christians, but I feel like I'd be holding out on you if I didn't talk about it.

As I've said many times before, I am a Christian. This means I love Jesus. This means that every day, I try to die to myself. Every day, I try wake up and try to make this world less about me and more about him. I don't always succeed. In fact, most days I don't. But this life isn't about me... it's about gloryifying him. Which brings me to my next point..

During the days of dieting, did your skinny friends ever turn and look at you to say, "Your body is a temple. Treat it as such"? I have always wanted to punch those people in the face. What in the hell did they know about my struggle anyway? Yes, this IS going somewhere.

For lunch, I decided to have Double Stuf Oreos. They were in the house from something I had to make for my husband's work last week. I ate about 3 more than I should have. Then I shared some macaroni & cheese with my daughter for her lunch. While I was eating the mac & cheese, it dawned on me that I wasn't eating because I was hungry; I was eating because 1) I wanted to occupy myself 2) It fills up a hole--I can't quite explain this but those of you who struggle with food addiction will understand 3) and out of habit. As a Christian, this is wrong for me to do. Why? Paul, the apostle, wrote:

You must know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is within—the Spirit you have received from God. You are not your own. You have been purchased, and at a price. So glorify God in your body.
— 1 Corinthians 6:19–20

A lot of Christians and people tend to use this passage in support of why we should stray from sexual immorality, but I take it one step further. I think if Christ bought me at the price of his life, the least I can do is live my own life IN ALL WAYS to glorify him. Since loving Jesus involves picking up my cross, dying daily, and following him, this doesn't mean I should just do it in the areas of my life that are convenient. I truly believe that food has become an addiction for me in the past. Everyone knows that ANYTHING outside of moderation can become an addiction--alcohol, tobacco, pills, and food. But the church chooses not to touch on the sin of addiction to food because I think it hits too close to home. Too many of us are addicted. And too many of us are trying to fill the God-shaped hole with anything that numbs our pain, and for me, it is food. I'm not talking only about obese people here, but I am talking about all people who use food to numb their pain. It happens a lot, and the church doesn't recognize it because it might piss people off. But the truth is, when we turn to food, we are turning to a cheap substitute. We aren't turning to the real thing: Jesus.

I realize this sounds extreme. Yes, I am saying that addiction to food is a sin. But thankfully we are not alone. Christ overcame our sin for us so that we could believe and be saved through him. Now we just have to walk the talk.

If you're not a Christian, I didn't write this post to offend you. This is just a personal revelation I have come to that is helping me better understand this journey, why I embarked on it, and the deeper issues that surround my weight problem.... I don't think any of us are really "fat" just because we like food a lot. I think there is probably a deeper issue for most or all of us. And I realize that when I don't surrender and when I choose to numb my pain with food instead, I am not turning to the one who so fearfully and wonderfully made me.

EDITED TO ADD: I am saying that food addiction is a sin in my life. I am not saying it is a sin in your's. I would have no right to make that confession about anyone but myself. I just felt that if anyone would understand this addiction, it'd be my amazing blogger friends, so I wanted to share. I hope there are some bandsters (Christian or not) out there that can relate and learn something from my weaknesses.

Tightness

I have been having an interesting band issue lately..an issue I've never had before... TIGHTNESS. Wait, oh my God, is that.... restriction?

I had my third fill the Thursday before last (nearly two weeks ago). I can tell a mega difference in a lot of ways:

1. I used to be able to eat reheated meat. Now if I have leftovers with meat in it, I get stuck.
2. I used to be able to do thin crust pizza. Now even Domino's thin crust isn't thin enough, so I stay away from it.
3. Food used to be the first thing I thought about when I woke up. Now I'm lucky if it crosses my mind to eat in the morning!

I've been finding that breakfast isn't necessary for me, but I try to eat it anyway. If I don't feel too tight, I'll have some yogurt, granola, and strawberries or a string cheese with my coffee. If I don't eat breakfast, I feel like I binge eat at dinner and post-dinner rationalizing it away because I missed breakfast.

Since this fill, I have had several stuck episodes, though. That is the nature of the beast: re-learning your limitations with every fill. I suppose I could just be a good little girl and stay away from all real food, but no, I see limits and I have to push them. This afternoon for lunch I tried to eat last night's homemade cheese ravioli with meat sauce. I forgot about the meat and ate it anyway. I was over the toilet in ten minutes.

I always feel stuck at least once at lunch and once at dinner. Sometimes they are very mild and sometimes they feel like there's a knife in my chest and someone is squeezing my head. I don't know what this means. I don't feel like I need an unfill. I DO know I need to get better at eating more slowly. It's funny to admit this, but I have to practically scarf my food down if I want to eat it because if I don't, my 17-month old daughter wants to eat it all (even after I've fed her). She always wants what's on mommy's plate. Lol. I also find that stress seems to make my band tighter. Anyone else have this phenomenon? I dealt with a really stressful situation this morning (you can read about it on my Twitter if you'd like) and found it very difficult to even get down my soup at lunch. What the eff?

Anyhow, just checking in. I can't wait to see the 220's!!

Last Summer vs. This Summer

August 2009.
280 lbs.
Still in maternity pants from giving birth in February.

July 2010.
236 lbs.
Size 22 capris.

Yes, that is the same shirt in both photos-- one of my favorites. Hopefully there is a noticeable difference. In the top picture, my shirt fit so tightly. Now it is super loose!

I am hovering at 236 lbs right now. I had a fill on Thursday. I can definitely tell I am less hungry, but I'm afraid I'm not getting enough "good" calories in. And I'm certainly not exercising. Time for me to amp it up, baby!

Letting fear go and gaining much.

As the scale creeps down, I slowly start to feel myself letting down my defenses. What does that mean? It means I am finally starting to accept success. I decided to get this surgery last October. Since then, I have been in a constant state of fear--fear of failure. As I see the scale moving down and as I experience these little victories, I get more motivated and less fearful.

I've seen some of you say before that getting lap-band is about more than losing weight and that you have to deal with emotional and spiritual issues along the way. I kind of shrugged that off before, but now I think I see what you all mean. Losing weight is about so much more than health and good looks and all that jazz. For me, it is about learning to accept success and crush defeat. It's about refusing to take shit anymore. It's about refusing to take less than what is best for me!

So I just want to say: If you are on the fence about whether to get weight loss surgery or not only because you are scared of failing--MAKE THE JUMP. What have we got to lose anyway? Fear? Insecurity? Shopping in the plus size section for life? Diabetes? Heart Failure?

I realize I am sounding a little like a motivational speaker this morning, but maybe someone out there needs to hear it. ;)

Do you have a "no no" list?

I so deserve an asskicking. I am hacking up cold pizza right now! Lately, I have been a LOT tighter in the morning than ever before. However, I keep forgetting until I eat something. Yesterday I tried to eat the hard, crusty edges of a biscuit. I had to wait for it to pass. Today I tried to grab a small thin crust slice of cold pizza--heck no--I am now sitting in the bathroom floor. Damn. Protein shakes in the morning from now on. Feeling this way is NOT worth it.

In other good news, I finally reached the 230's. Later than I planned, but hey, I got there so that's good. Unfortunately, the night I weighed in at 239.2, I then went out to a rock 'n roll concert and overindulged in some alcohol and dinner. Blah. So I'm back up again. But I plan to be back down by my third appointment for a fill which is this Thursday. I'm pretty excited about getting a fill. Hopefully this will be the last one I need for a while.

Well I better go finish hacking up this pizza. Lesson learned. I need to start a "no-no" foods list. Currently the ones right now that I cannot do are:

Cold pizza
Soft bread
Soft tortillas
Deli meat
Soft crusted pizza
Leftover pasta

Ready for the 230's..where are they??

Woohoo! Down .4 lbs this morning. It's not much, but I'm taking it anywhere I can! I am determined to see a new decade (the 230's) by Monday. Not too much to ask, I hope.

Last night my husband weighed himself. He is 212. I will be soo excited when I weigh less than him! So that is my short term goal: 212. Once I get there, I am gonna do something crazy to celebrate like maybe get my next tattoo I've been dreaming of..

Well, my daughter is crying and my dog is whining so I better go. Just wanted to check in and say hello. :)