Monday, July 19, 2010

Food addiction=one of the sins in my life.

I realize this post is going to come across as really extreme to some people, even Christians, but I feel like I'd be holding out on you if I didn't talk about it.

As I've said many times before, I am a Christian. This means I love Jesus. This means that every day, I try to die to myself. Every day, I try wake up and try to make this world less about me and more about him. I don't always succeed. In fact, most days I don't. But this life isn't about me... it's about gloryifying him. Which brings me to my next point..

During the days of dieting, did your skinny friends ever turn and look at you to say, "Your body is a temple. Treat it as such"? I have always wanted to punch those people in the face. What in the hell did they know about my struggle anyway? Yes, this IS going somewhere.

For lunch, I decided to have Double Stuf Oreos. They were in the house from something I had to make for my husband's work last week. I ate about 3 more than I should have. Then I shared some macaroni & cheese with my daughter for her lunch. While I was eating the mac & cheese, it dawned on me that I wasn't eating because I was hungry; I was eating because 1) I wanted to occupy myself 2) It fills up a hole--I can't quite explain this but those of you who struggle with food addiction will understand 3) and out of habit. As a Christian, this is wrong for me to do. Why? Paul, the apostle, wrote:

You must know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is within—the Spirit you have received from God. You are not your own. You have been purchased, and at a price. So glorify God in your body.
— 1 Corinthians 6:19–20

A lot of Christians and people tend to use this passage in support of why we should stray from sexual immorality, but I take it one step further. I think if Christ bought me at the price of his life, the least I can do is live my own life IN ALL WAYS to glorify him. Since loving Jesus involves picking up my cross, dying daily, and following him, this doesn't mean I should just do it in the areas of my life that are convenient. I truly believe that food has become an addiction for me in the past. Everyone knows that ANYTHING outside of moderation can become an addiction--alcohol, tobacco, pills, and food. But the church chooses not to touch on the sin of addiction to food because I think it hits too close to home. Too many of us are addicted. And too many of us are trying to fill the God-shaped hole with anything that numbs our pain, and for me, it is food. I'm not talking only about obese people here, but I am talking about all people who use food to numb their pain. It happens a lot, and the church doesn't recognize it because it might piss people off. But the truth is, when we turn to food, we are turning to a cheap substitute. We aren't turning to the real thing: Jesus.

I realize this sounds extreme. Yes, I am saying that addiction to food is a sin. But thankfully we are not alone. Christ overcame our sin for us so that we could believe and be saved through him. Now we just have to walk the talk.

If you're not a Christian, I didn't write this post to offend you. This is just a personal revelation I have come to that is helping me better understand this journey, why I embarked on it, and the deeper issues that surround my weight problem.... I don't think any of us are really "fat" just because we like food a lot. I think there is probably a deeper issue for most or all of us. And I realize that when I don't surrender and when I choose to numb my pain with food instead, I am not turning to the one who so fearfully and wonderfully made me.

EDITED TO ADD: I am saying that food addiction is a sin in my life. I am not saying it is a sin in your's. I would have no right to make that confession about anyone but myself. I just felt that if anyone would understand this addiction, it'd be my amazing blogger friends, so I wanted to share. I hope there are some bandsters (Christian or not) out there that can relate and learn something from my weaknesses.


  1. This is a great post! Thank you :)

  2. Ashley, I do think it might be hard for many of us to identify with your revelation. Food addiction is a mysterious and difficult problem that many of us struggle with. Whether or not it's a sin against God is for others to debate, but it certainly doesn't help us take care of ourselves.

    I would just caution you to not be too hard on yourself in this journey, to not convince yourself that you are a terrible person because you believe you are sinning against God. You are moving toward a healthier life, and this journey isn't always a linear one for many of us.

    I wish you the very best. Be kind to yourself, that's a great way to start understanding the whys and hows of addiction.

  3. Thanks y'all for both of your comments!

    Kristin, I feel like I need to clarify. What I mean to say is: addiction to food is MY sin (actually one of many). I didn't mean to comment on anyone else's life or struggles. I was just sharing mine. I would have no right to step on here and talk say that it is a sin for the amazing blogger friends I have. :) And thanks also for your concern. I do have the tendency to beat myself up when it comes to weight loss & gain, but I am walking in victory this time (thanks be to God for that).

  4. Ashley, I'm just now coming back to read this, I hadn't seen your follow-up note. I didn't at any point take your post as a comment or judgment on others; you made it very clear you were talking about yourself and your personal struggle. I just wanted to remind you to be kind to yourself. You're doing the right things and heading in the right direction. Keep up the great work!



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